Don't ever let me loose on HP
by Lolerator
Summary: ... Or this would happen. Sorry for the short intro, but that basically explains everything. I end up in the magical world of Harry Potter, and please note that this is a PARODY. I'm not being serious! A bit more swearing in this one. Leave your brains at the front door, please. :)
1. Wait, I'm part of HP!

**_I know, I know. It's been a while._**

**_Right, so this little thing is inspired by chocolatecheesecake's "A Comedy of Errols". This is what would happen if I was let loose on the world of Harry Potter. It's just a tad insaneP and contains a crap load of shenanigans (I now love that word). So... Yeah. Tell me what ya think and if this should be a multi-chapter story in a review!_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, nor Oasis, nor anything else that I might have missed. I only own myself. (Because that's not sad at all...)_**

-(I can't find the goddamn line breaks)-

I was tossing and turning one night when, with a loud pop, a form landed on my bed.

I screamed. It screamed. I fell off the bed. It managed to stay seated.

Suddenly, my ears stopped ringing and a face appeared in my vision. It looked bewildered and confused, not to mention positively insane. The person - most probably a female, judging by her body - had dull blue eyes and shiny (bordering on greasy) dark blonde hair with purple contraptions covering her ears. She was just over 5 feet tall, seemed to be the same age as myself, and was wearing blue jeans coupled with an oversized stripy t-shirt.

"Well, shit," she muttered in an accent similar to Ron's, "this wasn't supposed to happen... You know who I blame? YEAH, YOU! UP THERE! THERE I WAS, IN MY ROOM, LISTENING TO THE KAISER CHIEFS, AND THIS HAPPENS! THANK YOU SO MUCH, CHLOE!"

Looking deranged now, the girl screamed into my red and gold pillow and punching some imagined foe. I bum-shuffled away from the bed, fumbling behind me for my wand. And then she sat up, with wild eyes and surprisingly normal hair and said, "You know what? I'm gonna make the most of this..." She pointed at me with trembling hands (after all, randomly switching dimensions is no easy business) and whispered, "You. You can help me, Harry Potter. Just do as I ask, and no one needs to get hurt..."

Even with a wand in my hand, I felt myself nodding.

"My name is Hannah. I am a Muggle of 13 years. I write stories about you - no, wait, scratch that. I don't know what my life's purpose is, nor why I am here. All I know is that I want to get into Snape's pants - _I did not just say that _- and that I need to act as if I should be here. I was always terrible at Drama, so acting shouldn't be a problem..." She then broke off and stared into space, which (if I'm honest) freaked me out a little.

It was then that I spoke up. "Hang on, that makes no sense. If you were bad at acting, then how -"

"IT MAKES SENSE NOW, BITCH!" the lunatic screamed at me, and then everything DID make sense (heck, even Dumbledore didn't seem as cray-cray anymore)...

Composing herself, Hannah smoothed down her shirt and -

"Ooh, good song! SOME MIGHT SAY THAT SUNSHINE FOLLOWS THUNDER! GO AND TELL THAT TO THE MAN WHO CANNOT SHIIIINE!" Clutching the ear devices, she sang very loud and off-key - so loud, in fact, that Ron jerked awake, screaming.

With all the noise going on, I fainted, and I think my eardrums had started bleeding.

-(Pfft, who needs line breaks anyway)-

**_Yay or nay? Hot or not? Please tell me! Should I continue?.. Tell me in a review! Se(e ya!_**

**_-Lolerator xx_**

**_(P.S. Chloe will be introduced later on... :P)_**


	2. And then there was two

**_Well HIIIII!_**

**_Like, yeah. I'm still alive and awake and breathing and all that jazz. Thanks for the comments and feedback on the last chapter! I've really enjoyed writing this story so far, even if it isn't serious nor particularly lengthy. But hey, it's good to let your immature side rule of a while, am I right?!_**

**_Well, I suppose I should get going now... Enjoy, my minions! 3_**

**_-(Line break, Woop Woop!)-_**

**HANNAH'S POV**

_Well, this is an interesting situation._

_I was just writing a new chapter for a Harry Potter fanfiction, and THIS happens. Even more interesting, I really crave peanut butter - no, wait, I meant to say that I seem to have control over the characters... Definitely gonna use this to my advantage._

_And, just for the lolz, I'm going to drag Chloe - my best friend - into this mess._

_INSTANT FREINDSHIP BOOST. She's gonna love me for ages after this..._

I cackle with glee. _First though,_ I remind myself, sort out Hazza. I sigh. _That pansy_.

Oh, and Ron too. _Git._ I've never really liked him. Now, I get to mess with his brain. A large smile spreads across my face against my will, and Ronald looks at me, horrified, from his position in his bed.

"Oh, don't you worry, Ronald," I say, imitating Hermione, "I'm not some perverted fangirl. (Nope, I save that for Snape.) I am just here to have some fun - _I WAS NEVER HERE!_"

And, with all the grace I could muster (not much, if I'm honest), I sprint out of the dormitory door...

Promptly running straight into some poor person.

"_OhmigoshI'msosorrydidIhurtyou_?!" I say in a rush.

The person pulls me back and peers into my eyes. "Nah, H, though I feel like my stomach has been stabbed," Chloe says dryly, wincing.

I groan. "Of course, I forgot you're on your - wait, when did you get here?!"

Chloe waves her hand. "Irrelevant. Now, what chaos have you caused so far?"

I hang my my head and mutter, "Made Harry's ears bleed..."

"Now, that wasn't very nice, was it?" She patronises me.

I shake my head and slouch back up the stairs to sort the pansy out.

**-(Hurray for non-existent line breaks!)-**

Five minutes later, I drag an ill-looking Harry Potter behind me, who is followed by a surprisingly perky-looking Ron.

Chloe looks up from the first year she was creeping out with stories of Jeff the Killer. Poor kid. Must be an innocent little Pureblood. She smiles and waves menacingly. I skip over with my new pals and hum a Foo Fighters song that is blasting through my headphones.

Ron pales at the sight of my friend, who happens to be in her casual attire: black jeans, black hoodie, black glasses and heavy black eyeliner.

Practically a goth, then.

As if reading my mind, her face turns from creepily cheerful to deadly. I gulp. Whoops.

Beside me, Ron whimpers. Bloody wimp.

"Sooo," Chloe says, breaking the semi-silence, "I suppose we should go visit Dumbles if we wanna stay here..."

"But why would you -" Harry protests.

"Hush child," I say soothingly to him, "Just let it happen. But yes, Chloe, I suppose we should. Harry, Ronald, stay here. SIT!"

Terrified - and forgetting that they were technically stronger and more powerful than us - they obeyed.

Such power. MUAH HA HA!

Leaving many bewildered faces behind us, Chloe and I skip, arm in arm, down the hallway.

**-(And another one...)-**

**_It's been a while, I know. still hasn't sorted out the like breaks though. Yay._**

**_So, uh, if you'd like to leave some love, I'd like it too... WUV OO! 3_**

**_(Three cheers for maturity!...)_**

**_-Lolerator xxx_**


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